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Revision-in-Context Questions

On certain tests you may find questions that provide part of the first draft of a composition and ask you to revise it. These revision-in-context questions ask you to make decisions about logic, organization, sentence structure, and basic English usage. The following strategies can help you perform well on these types of questions:

Read the entire passage carefully.
Reread the passage, noting specific problems in the composition.
Read each question and the answer choices provided. If necessary, go back and reread the indicated portion in the context of the whole composition.
Choose the revision that makes the intended meaning clearest and follows the rules of standard English usage.

Sample:

The passage that follows is the first draft of a student's composition. Some of the ideas may not be well developed or precisely expressed. For each question, choose the answer that best conveys the writer's intended meaning.

(1) The birds along the lake shore were singing in the brisk, cool morning. (2) I will never forget that clear, piercing sound and the crispness of the air. (3) These, along with many other wonderful recollections, make my Memorial Day camping trip memorable and worth sharing. (4) The trip began with a nine-hour drive along winding country roads. (5) We set up the tents and went right to bed, so we had no idea of the beauty that surrounded us. (6) When we got up in the morning, the sun had just risen over the towering mountains and was shimmering against the awesome blue lake. (7) Because we had a flat tire, we didn't arrive at the campsite until after dark. (8) As I stepped out of my tent, and noticed all the incredibly gorgeous wildlife in the area. (9) I hated to tear myself away from the scenery to cook breakfast, but I was suddenly very hungry. (10) Then I made a fire, sat down to eat, and enjoyed a wonderful feeling as the sun shone its warmth on me. (11) It was the most peacefulest moment of my life.

(12) After eating, I went for a long hike. (13) I found a secluded spot where I dropped my fishing pole in the water and lay in the sun not even caring if I got a bite. (14) I returned to the campsite sunburned, tired, and happy. (15) I had had a long, fun-filled day. (16) I sat down in front of a crackling campfire. (17) I roasted three plump, white, sweet marshmallows. (18) As I ate them and felt the warmth of the fire, I thought of how wonderful it all has been.

1. Which sentence in the composition is out of place, and how would you reposition it?

A. sentence 1; put it after sentence 15

B. sentence 7; put it after sentence 4

C. sentence 8; put it after sentence 9

D. sentence 12; put it after sentence 13

E. sentence 18; put it after sentence 17

2. Where would you begin a new paragraph to separate the introduction from the body of the composition?

A. no paragraph necessary

B. after sentence 1

C. after sentence 2

D. after sentence 3

E. after sentence 5

3. Which is the best title for this composition?

A. The Marshmallow Roast

B. Sunset and Sunrise

C. A Memorial Day to Remember

D. How to Camp

E. Birds of the Northeast

4. Which is the best revision of sentence 8?

A. As I stepped out of my tent, I was dazzled by a variety of wildlife.

B. Stepping out of my tent and I couldn't believe the wildlife.

C. Because I couldn't believe the gorgeous wildlife in the area, I stepped out of my tent.

D. Until I stepped out of my tent, the wildlife was incredibly gorgeous.

E. As I was stepping out of my tent in the area and noticing all the incredibly gorgeous wildlife.

5. Which is the best revision of sentence 11?

A. The moment of my life which was the more peaceful was that one.

B. In my life it was the peacefulest moment.

C. Until that moment I haven't known what peaceful meant.

D. My life, in that moment, was inundated with peacefulness.

E. It was the most peaceful moment of my life.

Answers:

1. B

2. D

3. C

4. A

5. E

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